Tag Archives: leahwould blog

Ditzy ruins food. #leahwouldblog

I think everyone is familiar with the moment he or she realizes that there is joy that springs within oneself when looking forward to  eating some sort of food item.  MOST of the time, I think these moments are associated with cravings for junk, BUT, I personally also have these moments when there’s something in my lunchbox that I know I will enjoy.  Whether or not it is a healthy morsel, if it is the BEST piece of food I have (in my tongue’s opinion) for that day, and I will salivate at the thought of it.

 I had TWO of those snacks on the menu today.  One of them, the first of the morning, was a magnificent mix of sausage and eggs with non-fat cheese!  I microwaved my breakfasty mix, and hurried it back to my desk! 

“YAY!!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR GREASY, SALTY GOODNESS!!!!!”, I was yelling in my head.

There was one thing I had forgotten, either due to my lack of coffee intake at this point in the morning, or perhaps due to the “blondeness gene” that is my scapegoat.  After microwaving sausage, it is as HOT AS A VOLCANO.  The inside of my mouth became one, giant, scorched piece of flesh with which I could no longer taste food for hours afterward!

My first delicious snack had been ruined by my own ditzy actions.

I did not lose heart or hope!  I still had an apple and celery, onto which I was going to smear TONS OF DELICIOUS PEANUT BUTTER!! And since the peanut butter was organic and natural, I had no guilt whatsoever over my plans of doing so.

And so the time came for my second snack of the day…my food salvation…my Tuesday’s DELIGHT!  I waltzed to the break-room with a triumphant twinkle in my eye, and gleefully opened the refrigerator.  (Side note to those of you who do not know, Organic peanut butter must be refrigerated.)  I reached in and snatched the jar that had “Leah” inscribed on the top!  MY VERY OWN JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER WAS READY TO BE CONSUMED FOR THE FIRST TIME!

That’s when I realized something…and my eyes changed from their gleaming smirks to a downcast haze.  When I had first purchased the peanut butter and brought it in to work, I did not open and stir it before placing it in the fridge.  So now, I was face to face with two layers in that jar.  The top layer was the peanut oil, still separated from the butter, and hardened by the cool temperature.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(To be continued….maybe.)

Looney Dream

Last night, I dreamt that I was going to get a new tattoo.  I was planning on having some sort of intricate design done on my side that included some sort of fantasy-inspired bird.  (I don’t even know what I mean by this, but my mind pictures some sort of badass dragon with feathery wings…Just assume it was TOTALLY cool and unique, and NOTHING LESS THAN ABSOLUTE MAGNIFICENCE!!!!!)

  I was nervous, but excited!  It was going to be done in two sessions, and the first session was a couple of hours long.  I lied there, patiently, as the tattoo artist went to work.  AT this point, I should have known this was a dream, because I didn’t feel any pain.  After the two hours (which of course passed by in a matter of seconds, and in a montage of dream-picture scenes), I walked to a mirror to admire the handiwork.

SHOCK…increased heartbeat….utter….feelings…of….failure/horror!!!

 What I beheld was NOT the original tattoo that I pictured.  Where was my amazing and gorgeous artistic rendering of a Phoenix-like creature??

Somehow, due to a series of miscommunications that I can NO LONGER remember, I had a Tweety-bird on my side! A TWEETY BIRD!! 

And a chipmunk (not just any chipmunk, but “Dale” from the Looney Tunes duo “Chip and Dale”) who was upside down, next to Tweety!!

WTF?????

 And apparently, the second session I had scheduled was to add Chip next to Dale!  How did this happen!??  I was dumbstruck in my dream, and didn’t know what to say.  What COULD I do, after all!  There were two giant Looney Tunes characters on my side AND belly!!  THE CHIPMUNK WAS AS BIG AS MY HEAD….IN THE MIDDLE OF MY STOMACH!!!!!

  I awoke soon after, and immediate checked myself over for any new, unwanted tattoos.  I think it’s safe to say that my dream was really a nightmare!  I have nothing against Looney Tunes, as long as they remain on the television or in children’s books. 

Fall

During the winter months, and even throughout the spring, you will hear me wishing it was summertime!  I love the hot temperatures and swimming, and of course #becausebikini is my year-round motivation for working out, etc.  But there is a time towards the end of summer, for about a month, you’ll actually hear me yearning for autumn.  Even though my allergies are awful during that time of year (A big middle finger to you, Ragweed!!), I adore so many things that come along with the season.

I am here, at the point of longing for fall.  I want to see all the leaves changing colors, sit around a bonfire, and go on hayrides!  I want to carve pumpkins, make pumpkin pie, and watch football!  I can’t wait to decorate the front of our house with spooky Halloween spider-webs, and see all the fun costumes people have created.  I want to wear a jacket in the crisp (but NOT COLD) air while taking a walk, crunching leaves with each step.  I look forward to drinking hot apple cider on my back porch while watching all those brittle leaves swirl in the wind!

I hope that my daydreams have inspired you to long for autumn as much as I do, because perhaps then it will be here sooner!

 

Another Dream #leahwouldramble

It happened again.

Not a surprise, because it happens somewhat often.

A dream that feels real…completely and utterly real.

Most of it is a haze, but what I remember is being part of some HUGE school.  There was really strange training going on there, and at one point, I was driving a car in this gigantic, open area, and slamming my breaks often, to avoid running into all the large trucks carrying what looked like colossal missiles!  Then, whoever was in charge assigned me and four other people to be required to survive a day…completely blind.  We were going to be required to carry out certain duties like drive a vehicle, cook a scrumptious meal, and basically just SURVIVE without any help from others, relying on all of our instincts WITHOUT SIGHT.  I think the other people in my group were old friends from high school, but I can’t pinpoint who they were precisely.  I remember feeling panic and anxiety…loads of it!

Then, I awoke in real life to an earsplitting clap of thunder that jolted me from bed at 5am, feeling the same urgency, and was left wondering HOW I was going to carry out my day, blind.  Obviously, I was still half-way in dream mode because I was trying to figure out how was I going to drive to work…I thought,

”Should I practice by closing my eyes as I make my way to the restroom?   I can’t do this!  I can’t DRIVE and work on a computer BLIND!!!” 

I was seriously panicked for about 30 seconds before I realized it was all just a lingering dream.