Riding the Ripcord at Worlds of Fun is certainly an pleasurable thrill.  I’ve now ridden it five times, and one of those times, from this past weekend, was certainly a unique experience. 

Angela and I were to ride it together, and waiting in line ahead of us was a young couple.  My instincts told me that the burly man was of Scottish descent.  (Or, it may not have been my instincts.  It may have been the huge reddish-brown beard and the kilt he was wearing.)  They both seemed nice enough.  What Angela and I didn’t know was that we were about to get to know one of them a lot better than we would have ever wanted!

I have forgotten what the couple’s names were, so for now, I’ll merely refer to them as …hmm… (**Googles Scottish names…**)  Calder and Kate! :-)

As Angela and I boarded the platform, Calder and Kate had just finished they’re ride.  This means that they were hanging horizontally, while wearing those huge apron-like contraptions that hook them to the cord.  They were facing us at that moment, but slowly and surely spun around to grab hold of the platform’s wall as they were being lowered.  My eyes start to naturally glance upwards as I am readying myself for the ride.  But as they do, WHAT do I behold?  YES!

 A HAIRY, SCOTTISH ASS, right there in my face!! 

Calder and I just bonded, and he didn’t even know it!! Or maybe he did.  All I know is that the man was wearing his kilt in the most traditional sense!   It’s too late for me to avert my eyes, and I know that for at least two or three seconds, I was uncontrollably staring.  NOT because it was a nice derriere, but because I was in a state of shock.  This is NOT what I was expecting to see before plummeting to the earth.  AND, in the off chance that the ripcord should break and I nose-dive to my death, was THIS to be the final image in my mind!???   

Calder, you almost ended my life-flashes-before-your-eyes moment with a bang! 

Almost…

Thank God I’m still alive.