8:30am

I am a torturer of staplers!  I don’t care if they are big, small, manual, or electric!  I will stuff as many papers as possible into them!  And if they don’t push that staple all the way through the first time, I will DO IT AGAIN!!  Apparently, I just figure I can defy physics and force the staple to become longer—long enough to clasp an inch-high stack of papers with a half inch long staple! YOU WILL WORK, DAMN IT!!!!   UGH…**slams stapler…shoves papers…slams again….**  Oh, never mind!

**Feels Defeated.**

**Walks over to heavy duty stapler; staples all papers with ease.**

This isn’t over, Stapler!!!!  I’ll be back on Monday, you little jerk!

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If you don’t like messing up, I suggest learning from OTHER PEOPLE’S mistakes.  For example, I have recently seen two people open their Greek yogurts the wrong way.  How is there a wrong way to open yogurt, you might ask?  It has to do with the built-up pressure underneath the foil-top’s seal.  When it comes to the Yoplait 100 cal Greek yogurts, if you have the foil tab facing you when you open it, the yogurt will spurt out bits of creamy gunk all over your shirt when you open it, so you end up looking like a whore-ish mess!  Hee hee…..Now, I am sure to only open my yogurt the RIGHT way.  Thank you very much to those who made that mistake, so that I didn’t have to!  (You know who you are…)

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4:00pm

UUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F*** YOU, STAPLER!!!!!!!!!!!!! **Shakes fist!**