8:35am

My attempt at being girly has been thwarted.  You see, at approximately 7:56am this morning, I applied glittery, plumping gloss to my lips.  I knew that I would, soon after, be consuming a Zero Ultra Monster energy beverage.  There was no way I was going to miss out on THAT deliciousness!  To detour my glittery gloss from ending up on my energy-filled can, I grabbed a straw from the kitchen to use. 

Keep in mind that the only straws that can be found in the office kitchen are of the coffee-stir variety.  I am not even completely sure they would be considered straws in a community of straws.  In fact, I assume that if straws had their own world, these would be considered pets, therefore not necessarily doing the job of a straw, but serving a smaller, albeit meaningful, purpose (stirring the beverage that a REAL straw might be used for).  At this point, you have my apologies for my small digress.

So then I am drinking my Monster with a stir/straw, and am so proud of my wily effort of being girly that I set my can down for a moment and email Heather to tell her of my victorious feelings!  Due to the height of the can, and the lack of major carbonation, the straw sinks into the mouth-hole without me immediately noticing.  I reach for the drink to take another lovely sip, and Alas!  There is no straw!! “What happened?  Did I inadvertently take it out and set its sticky little body on my desk??  Why would I do that???”  I have a total of 5-10 seconds of searching around before it dawns on me where the straw REALLY is.  So now, with each gulp, I hold the risk of being choked and/or stabbed in the throat by a wannabe straw aka straw-pet.

“Girly” turned to “Dangerous”, and I’m completely fine with it.