My attempt at being girly has been thwarted. You see, at approximately 7:56am this morning, I applied glittery, plumping gloss to my lips. I knew that I would, soon after, be consuming a Zero Ultra Monster energy beverage. There was no way I was going to miss out on THAT deliciousness! To detour my glittery gloss from ending up on my energy-filled can, I grabbed a straw from the kitchen to use.
Keep in mind that the only straws that can be found in the office kitchen are of the coffee-stir variety. I am not even completely sure they would be considered straws in a community of straws. In fact, I assume that if straws had their own world, these would be considered pets, therefore not necessarily doing the job of a straw, but serving a smaller, albeit meaningful, purpose (stirring the beverage that a REAL straw might be used for). At this point, you have my apologies for my small digress.
So then I am drinking my Monster with a stir/straw, and am so proud of my wily effort of being girly that I set my can down for a moment and email Heather to tell her of my victorious feelings! Due to the height of the can, and the lack of major carbonation, the straw sinks into the mouth-hole without me immediately noticing. I reach for the drink to take another lovely sip, and Alas! There is no straw!! “What happened? Did I inadvertently take it out and set its sticky little body on my desk?? Why would I do that???” I have a total of 5-10 seconds of searching around before it dawns on me where the straw REALLY is. So now, with each gulp, I hold the risk of being choked and/or stabbed in the throat by a wannabe straw aka straw-pet.
“Girly” turned to “Dangerous”, and I’m completely fine with it.