The band had just finished a fast-paced song, and the dance floor was clearing out as the mood changed to slow and sweet. (In other words, everyone in the crowd was heading to get a refill on their beer before returning to slow dance in front of us.) I stood, singing a rock ballad (probably Journey or Bon Jovi), and stared into the crowd. After years of singing on a stage, I had no nervousness, and could easily watch and/or interact with a crowd while belting out a tune.
As I glanced to the right of the dance floor in front of me, I noticed a young woman wandering to its edge, tugging her man behind her. I assumed it was the regular “forcing the man to dance with her” situation. This was fairly common. I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of doing this from time to time. But as I continued into the second verse, I took a closer look at the couple.
I recognized that the woman was one of the avid dancers from during the previous song, someone who had been jumping around with so much glee(and by ‘glee’, I mean ‘drunkenness’) that she had fallen quite a few times, mid-dance. A little too many twirls and whirls for her, I suppose. Again, I’m guilty of this from time to time as well, so there’re no judgments here! I always enjoyed watching people have a good time to our music.
Then, I took a closer look. She was remaining poised by the edge of the dance floor with her guy. I found this odd since she was so happy to dance all over that floor just a few minutes ago, so I decided to pay a little more attention to what was going on. That is when I noticed her pointing towards the ground while saying something to her man. My eyes followed where she was pointing (discreetly, of course), and that’s when I saw it. It was like, for a just a moment, in total sloooooow motion……
BEHOLD!! THE CHICKEN CUTLET!!! (
Men, if you don’t know already, I’m talking about the fake, rubber boobs that some women put into their bras to amplify their cleavage. Spoiler alert!!!)
It’s a good thing my mouth was ALREADY agape at this point, because if it hadn’t been, my jaw probably would have dropped at that point. Apparently, while dancing previously, the fake, rubber bra-stuffer had come right out of her shirt! Not only was it sitting there on the dance floor, but she was not even willing to retrieve it! She commanded her man do it.
And YES….he did. He fetched it and brought it back to her…..back to it’s home…next to her boob.
IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO BURST INTO LAUGHTER, MID-SONG!!!
I managed to keep my composure. Don’t ask me how, I haven’t a clue!!
To this day, that band-days memory gives me grins. :)