“Come on ibuprofen with pseudoephedrine! DON’T FAAAAAIL ME NOW!!!!” (That’s me, talking—or yelling, rather –to the medicine that I just placed into my stomach.)
60 minutes later…
JUST…WORK!!!! TAKE AWAY THE THROBBING TEMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Takes another ibuprofen-cold medicine.**
You know that point where sinus pressure gets so strong that you feel like if you pulled all of your teeth out, it would give you relief? Yup….I am there….WHERE ARE THE FUCKING PLIERS!!!???
Who had the first cold ever? Who STARTED this shit?? I would say that someone needs to smack ‘em in the face, but I’m sure they’re already dead.
20 minutes later…
The 2nd dose worked. PHEW!
60 minutes later…
Now I feel all loopy. It COULD be the fact that I took cold medicine AND drank a Monster this morning….but I’m not sure. All I know is that everything seems slightly funny and nonsensical at the moment.
Numbers? What is…numbers……..and ……….dollar sign? Is that number?…………2187++1+1+4+-/4++1+=?
**Plays calculator like a piano.**
60 more minutes later…
Just when I thought I had a firm grasp on numeric figures again, I decided to go to cardio class. People…noticed a difference in my behavior, I guess. And suddenly, I forgot how to count again.
“Hold a squat for 20 seconds and 10 seconds and 10 times? …. What? What does that mean?….. A year of squat holds? No! I’m standing up!…I said I am STANDING UP!!!…Why are you counting on your fingers…What? Squat-hold? Fine….. Who are you, again?”
**Slightly neurotic laughter for 2 minutes straight**
(By the way, Readers, my trainer’s website, www.hardcortraining.com ,is now live. So definitely check it out! He’ll even put up with you if you’re all hopped up on cold medicine!)