Poppin’ Pills

As a young person, I learned how to NOT open a bag of chips. When one pulls on each opposite side of the package until it opens, if there is too much force, the sack is going to unexpectedly pop open, Jack-In-The-Box style, and chips are going to be flung into the air, onto the person’s head (probably) and all over the ground!
Yesterday and Today: My allergies had begun to bother me. I’m not sure if it’s the grass or if it’s pollen in the air, but one thing’s for sure—my nose has been one itchy bitch!
Generally, I go for as long as I can before taking any sort of medicine. I figure that my body can surmise how to get through it, and eventually be just fine, without the crutch of medication.

This morning, however, I could no longer stand the itchy nose, sneezing, watery eyes, and general annoyance that my face was feeling. I knew that in the cabinet at my desk, I would find the answer in the form of allergy pills.

As I opened the door to the overhead bin, I momentarily thought I heard angels singing.
“Did someone put some sweet cherub in here? Yes! Yes, they did! In the form of Cetirizine Hydrochloride and Pseudoephedrine!! COME TO ME, MY ANGEL!!!”

A grin spread across my face as I reached for the box that held my salvation….I knew that relief would follow soon.

The box felt very light, and when I peered into it, I realized there was only one tablet left. This was okay, because the box said this one pill would provide up to 12 hours of relief. HALF A DAY OF HAPPINESS!!!!

I could deal with that! ANY relief was better than none, at this point!

I pulled the little bubble-shaped plastic/foil packet out, found the “tear here” slit, and began my ATTEMPT to rip into it!

**Tries to rip plastic and foil packaging——no rip occurs.**

**Attempts to rip in opposite direction——to no avail.**

**Begins the “using canine teeth” method——package is still intact, albeit now full of teeth marks.**

At this point, frustration began to set in, and the panic caused me to just start pulling the two sides apart with ALL of my strength!!

AND THEN!!!!………..

(I didn’t count on this sort of thing happening with a NON-bag shaped container. I should have known. Just like potato chips.)

The teeny package burst open, and its contents went flying! I didn’t see where the pill landed, but I HEARD it “tap, tap, tap” across my desk to some unknown place.

I’M SO SORRY, MY ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Five minutes later, after searching the entire premises that is my cubicle, in hopes that no one would walk by at the moment that my ass was sticking up in the air from under my desk, I had my allergy medicine. Still currently waiting for it to kick in….)

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