Ozark List

There are a few things I learned this past weekend, after performing at a gig in the Ozarks.

1. It is complicated and difficult to put on fishnets in the back seat of a car.

2. It helps to have a friend who can put your super tight shirt on for you…when in the back seat of a car.

3. The mirrors on car visors were NOT meant to use for putting on makeup/lashes, but we gave no fucks.

4. Broken glass on the floor will not stop the dancing.

5. A guy getting knocked out, falling and hitting his head on cement WILL stop the dancing.

6. Police/EMT’s have a surprisingly fast response time in that area.

7. EVERYBODY is ALL about the bass.

8. Sometimes, black guys dance on giant black poles.

9. Drunken guys who knock people out foolishly return to the scene of the crime.

10. Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

11. Water in the Ozarks tastes awful, so it’s better to stick to beer.

12. We CAN do a live version of Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy”!

13. I don’t remember what else I learned, but I’m pretty sure there was more……

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