Mondayne

Until I have another story to tell, the random ramblings will ensue.——————-

Here we are again. The first Monday of work for the year. So far, it hasn’t been horrible. I slept wrong and have a kink in my neck. I had a message about low tire pressure when I got into the freezing car this morning. Then, there was no coffee made when I arrived at work. Also, my phone is refusing to go into silent mode, so I have to keep headphones plugged into it at my desk so that my text sound is constantly dinging. It’s 8:15am.
The good things that have already happened: I remembered my 2016 Kitten calendar to hang at my desk, I’ve obtained an order for Girl Scout Thin Mints, AND a coworker of mine is STILL finding glitter from when I helped booby trap his desk over a week ago. It’s now 8:16am.
And then there are the ramblings:
~Holy shit!! I totally forgot that I have 3 Monsters in the refrigerator here at work!!! This Monday just got three times BETTER!!!!!!
~I think I might’ve just found my first gray hair. I’m not positive, because when I did a double glance in the mirror, it had already run off and hidden under my regular hairs. I’m sure it realizes that as soon as I find it, I shall PLUCK IT OUT and deny its existence!!! Or perhaps the lights were playing tricks on me, and it really doesn’t exist. I’ll hope for the latter.
~I emptied my shred box today. Good news: There were no sneak-attacks from scary spiders this time!
~It is taking EVERYTHING IN ME right now to NOT grab five bags of chips and eat them all! I have to give myself pep talks:
“Leah…you have an apple. It’s plenty. You don’t need the salty goodness of chips. Do you want to lose weight or not??”
“Well..yeah, but…”
“NO BUTS!”
“I can smell them…their smell is beckoning me.”
“NO, you can’t. You don’t have the nose of a hound dog. All those chips are packaged up and sealed. You can’t smell them.”
“Have you SEEN the size of my nose?? I mean seriously! It’s possible I’m smelling those chips. Something smells like potatoes and cheese and salt and Doritos!”
“NO…you aren’t smelling anything from that snack bar. You smell someone’s lunch, and it doesn’t even SMELL like any of that! It smells like fucking Microwave Asian Zing shit! That’s the smell of MSG and despair!!”
“I could have sworn that was Lays potatoes I smelled. I really wants Lays. I WANNA GET LAYS!”
“You don’t NEED to get Lays! Forget about it.”
“Yes, I do. I need to get Lays!”
“Use a different conjugation of that word, and you MIGHT be correct!”
“……..Heh….”

————————

~I’m back at my desk now. No Lays. Just a fucking apple.

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