Homicidal Coffee #leahwouldramble

Some may say that life is a balancing act.  This is true, but not just in the metaphorical sense.  I have several circus-like moments throughout my normal workday.  Take my morning coffee mug, for example.  I like to fill it almost all the way to the top with my liquid addiction, plus creamer.  The GREAT part about this is I get to suck down more coffee, once I begin drinking.  The BAD part….walking back to my desk with my coffee-filled mug in hand.  If I make ONE slightly uneven step, the coffee tries to crawl up the side of my mug and jump off the edge of it onto the carpet. 

“No!! Don’t do it, coffee!!!  BACK AWAY FROM THE MUG-LEDGE!!!” 

So, then I have to stop, in the middle of the walkway, to let my suicidal coffee calm its nerves. 

And the trek begins again, slowly and carefully– a tightrope act with no rope, but a mere carpeted floor.  With each step, I pick up speed, hoping that my balance is enough to keep the coffee’s nerves calm enough to stay in the safety of its cup.  Of course, the entire time, I am HOPING that no one is watching this horrible circus routine, because it would surely deserve rotten fruit and peanuts being thrown at it. 

Alas!  The brown liquid tries to slosh again, and before I can stop it this second time, a splash if it has landed on my hand.  How the hell am I supposed to remain balanced and steady handed when scalding coffee BITES MY HAND!!  It was never suicidal after all…it wants to kill me.  Homicidal Coffee made  its first strike, inevitably, because it knows I plan on drinking it, a.k.a. ending its unbalanced, dark, caffeinated life!

 I arrive at my desk, finally, with a wet, burning hand, and a now messy-drips-down-the-side mug, and take my first gulp.  The battle isn’t over, as I so wrongly assumed.  It is now burning my tongue in a last-ditch effort of survival.  **Chugs coffee out of spite.**

4 thoughts on “Homicidal Coffee #leahwouldramble

  1. Those who would call this a First World problem have never fought in the war. I am pretty sure you and I served together in different branches.

  2. You strengthen Homicidal Coffees resolve with the close to the rim fill! It will always win that fight, hurting yet pleasing you, teasing you that it won’t bite next time. But it will. The rim is where it’s power lies.

    Of course you could get a capped cup & then laugh at it’s homicidal attempts as you devour it victoriously.

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