Sometimes, I forget to eat. And by “sometimes”, I mean “once every few months”! I adore food WAY too much. I suppose you could say that I’m actually a fat girl trapped inside a mediocre-sized girl’s body. Here are a few ways I know this is true:
–Today, I walk by my boss’s desk, and he is eating a variation of potato chip. My immediate urge was to walk over, scoop them all into my hand, and then stuff them into my mouth.
–Sometimes, I black out while eating cake, and completely forgot that I ate it, so that I can justify eating Casey’s pizza a mere two hours later.
–I can’t bring ranch in my lunchbox for veggie dipping. Doing so would ensure my drinking the dressing directly from the container and forgetting the vegetables’ existence.
–When my sister in law asks me, “Leah, can you help me decorate for your nephew’s 2 year b-day party on Saturday?”, I hear, “Leah, there will be cake and chips on Saturday that you need to help me eat, or I’ll die.”
–I am eating THREE pieces of dark chocolate right NOW after debating for the entire past 5 hours if I should eat ONE.
–If someone asked me if I would join a cheese-eating contest, I would join instantaneously, without question, and offer to take any leftover cheese home with me when it was over. (It would not make it home with me, because I would finish it off in the car before arriving there.)
–Gravy: I love it.
The list goes on…