This morning, I awoke to find a little “present” from my cats. I imagine that when this happened, it went down something like this:
Neko (In Brooklyn accent): Yo…hey, Buddy….look! Look at her sleepin’! We didn’t even get any TREATS today. What’s you say we show her a thing or two about that, eh? She won’t wake up. Got any ideas?
Buddy (In Stoner Voice): Yah, Man….I ain’t had any catnip for like..uh…for like weeks, Man. We should do something to get her attention.
Neko: Yeah, Yeah….but what we gonna do. Knockin shit off her nightstand isn’t doing it. Chewing on her bedside lamp’s not doin’ it either. Today, you know what she did? She hid those jars of change in a drawer so I couldn’t knock it over…can you believe that?! I thought that shit was sitting there for MY playtime pleasure.
Buddy: Uh…yah…she won’t let me drink out of her glasses any more unless she’s watching me, Brah…no fun, Man….no fun. I do have an idea, Man.
Neko: Give it to me.
Buddy: When I get all like….angry or some shit at her, I like to barf on the floor, ya know?
Neko: Yah, I seen that…it’s kinda wrong….I don’t like the smell…but hey…whateva ya gotta do, right?
Buddy: Right..and uh…well she just started cleaning it up and getting used to it, so I stopped for awhile, cuz…ya know….it wasn’t doin’ anything for me but makin’ me feel bad….
Neko: Uh huh…?
Buddy: You know those shoes we like to chew on when she isn’t watchin’ us, Dude?
Neko: Yah…What about ‘em?
Buddy: Let’s go yack in ‘em, Man! When she finds those, she’ll KNOW we’re pissed off and be like, bound to do anything we command after that, right?
Neko: I can see your point….Go ahead. I’ll supervise.
And so, I didn’t get to wear today’s heels, as planned. Thanks, Guys……thanks.